Have you ever wanted prison wine, but you aren't in prison. Well is this the DIY for you! I learned this recipe from Martha Stewart back when we were in prison together.
Step 1: Have a toilet, if you don't have a toilet use a public library toilet or a school toilet.
Step 1: Have a toilet, if you don't have a toilet use a public library toilet or a school toilet.
Step 2:Get an orange and some sauce of your choosing (I used sweet and sour), And dunk them from the 3 point line into your toilet bowl. The orange helps turn the water into alcohol, I think and the sauce tastes good on rice,chicken, and pork.
Step 3: Get some spices cause I like my drinks to burn like 1,000 suns in my mouth. I got some crushed red peppers, available at any pizza restaurant, just go behind the counter and take as many as you want
Step 7: Alright its starting to look good! Way better than some wine you'd buy at a store. Now get some soy sauce. Soy sauce has yeast in it and salt so that's real good. Sometimes just drinking soy sauce straight really hits the spot. Gets my blood sugar spiking :)
IT IS NOT OKAY TO SPILL!
Step 44: Grab some blood or food coloring to give the wine a nice red color. The color red was invented in 1982 by some students at The University of Oregon. I was there, it was like the 5th best thing I've ever witnessed.
MINI DIY: If you're a neat freak and don't want to mix the wine with your hands tape a bunch of pencils together to make a mixing stick. Once I put the food coloring in used my pencil stick. Theres also bread in the wine I think my computer is cursed because I could find the picture of the bread in it.
Step 5: Add Vodka or any clear liquid same as every other diy, to make the wine more alcoholic, you have to let it ferment for like 20 degrees Celsius. Then you're DONE!!
Serve this at your next dinner party, or family event. For an authentic experience use the toilet as a punch bowl. You can also use this DIY as a guide for when you end up in prison for fraud.